Show Up Uncut
Welcome to "Show Up Uncut," a podcast where two fierce ladies bring you unfiltered conversations on business, health, fitness, and mindset.
Join us for an unapologetic exploration of the highs, lows, and everything in between as we share raw, real-life stories from the trenches of SHOWING UP. From crushing goals in business to smashing personal best at the gym, we're here to inspire and empower you to show up fully in every aspect of your life. Get ready for straight talk, bold insights, and unwavering authenticity as we dive deep into what it takes to succeed in business and beyond. Tune in and get ready to elevate your game with "Show Up Uncut"!
Show Up Uncut
Breaking Free: Ivy's Story of Recovery and Growth
What if the darkest moments of your life could become the catalyst for your greatest transformation? Join us as we sit down with Ivy, who courageously shares his journey from the throes of MDMA and cocaine addiction to a life of redemption and self-improvement. Ivy's story serves as a powerful reminder of how quickly casual weekend drinking can spiral into daily drug use, especially in the isolating environment of a global pandemic. His candid recounting of life as a "junkie," and the pivotal moment of incarceration that forced him to confront his choices, will resonate deeply with anyone who's faced their own struggles.
Fitness became Ivy's lifeline, providing structure and discipline during and after his time in jail. Learn how older inmates imparted wisdom about self-respect and the law of attraction, inspiring Ivy to transform his life through the power of physical fitness and personal development. His journey underscores the critical role of mental clarity and resilience that comes from maintaining one's physical health. Discover how the gym became more than just a place to work out—it was a sanctuary for rebuilding his life and setting the foundation for a hopeful future.
Navigating the complex landscape of recovery, Ivy emphasizes the importance of ending toxic relationships and seeking help. Understand the emotional challenges and the necessity of setting boundaries with those who may not support your journey to sobriety. Ivy's experiences, including the trauma of house arrest and the pivotal role of supportive friendships, offer invaluable guidance for anyone struggling to find their path to recovery. This episode also explores Ivy's commitment to giving back, mentoring youth through charities like "Ready to Change," and the significance of maintaining a positive mindset through fitness and journaling.
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Welcome back to Show Up Uncut with.
Speaker 2:Em and Jess.
Speaker 1:Okay, so today we have special guest speaker Ivy, so he's going to be talking to us a little bit about mindset, health and fitness. Feel free to jump in whenever Like a little bit about his journey. He struggled with addiction.
Speaker 2:Everything else on this one Tell us a little bit about yourself, ivy. Well, uh, where do?
Speaker 3:I begin nah, just like the last five years, I reckon yeah, last five or four years. Um, just life took its fucking whirlwind storm, um just hanging out with the wrong people and always changing my environment. I was introduced to drugs so like I'm 30 now, I hadn't had a drink or touch drugs until I was like 25, like my whole teenage years, like I was always like no that was the first time yeah, like I was always that guy to be like I'm not going out, I'm not drinking, I'm not.
Speaker 3:I was always against it and I was. I honestly thought I was just gonna never, ever touch it.
Speaker 2:So be like.
Speaker 3:And then, yeah, just obviously hanging out with the wrong, different people all the time, and, you know, moving around, it changed and then I got introduced into doing drugs. How that was, just from like hanging around the wrong people, yeah and just like I think it started almost just before COVID, when everyone you know was stuck in the house and all that sort of shit, and they were just like, just try, just try. And I don't know, for some reason I just buckled. Can I ask what did you try? I started with MDMA and cocaine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that were the two, so it was just like getting on the benders, basically, yeah, I feel like that's what everyone's did in COVID, though it was so bad that's like literally like all I fucking did because I couldn't work and I was like fucking having mental breakdowns, literally. I was PTing people. I was making bank, I was PTing people, yeah.
Speaker 3:Doing FaceTime training in the house and that. But, yeah, like, but, yeah, like. So literally that's how it started. It was just like here we'll just have a drink on the weekend, like how everyone would ever start. But it's like I think it's because I didn't do any of it in my teens as soon as I started, it was like hard and fast.
Speaker 1:It was like what is this?
Speaker 3:environment. New like new feelings, new this, new that and.
Speaker 2:I just fucking took off. Did you know that you were going down the wrong path? As say Like were you aware of that or were you just like it? Was you getting caught up in the moment and I guess the environment of being around you know new people, and it was?
Speaker 3:like, literally like that. It was just like you have no idea. Like, and I'm just like, no, I'm just having drinks on the weekend, like it's nothing, yikes. I'm like I've seen people do this for years Like there's no harm in that. I'm like I'm just starting it late, so what's the matter? Yeah, I just keep doing it, keep doing it, keep doing it, keep doing it.
Speaker 1:And then, like sooner or later, until, like, you take a step back, I look back at the shit that, like we used to do, and I'm just like fuck, I do not live my life like that at all, like anymore. Yeah, like every weekend, like it was so bad, it was just crazy.
Speaker 3:Like now I look back at it to how it started, to where it went to, and now I'm just like massive PTSD trauma from it and I just go how the fuck did? Like how did I actually do this? How did I do this every day? How did I do this day in and day out for like three, four years straight?
Speaker 1:Was it like literally every day.
Speaker 3:It got to the point where it was every day Like you weren't working, Weren't working. I was fucking absolute, like being a junkie, as I said, like I'm not ashamed to say that.
Speaker 2:Like that's what it was and that's how I was. Was it sorry to interrupt? Was it basically like when you say being a junkie, first thing you wake up, that's all you think about?
Speaker 3:yeah you were happy, you weren't really sleeping, you weren't eating, I was that, that's all I was doing. I was like stuck in my house. I was like not afraid to leave the house. But you were just like I'm not leaving the house, like I'm just staying stuck in my house, and I was just doing jobs every day, like every single day. People like and I don't, I know there's people that like think, oh, like you're just on a bender. It wasn't a bender, it was like every like couple hours you're doing a bag. Yeah, you're doing a bag, it just did not stop.
Speaker 3:That's fucking wild no, it's like it fucking blows my mind to like think I was like that and I could not stop. Yeah, it was fucked Like I was in the worst place.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's literally your mindset too, hey like you don't realise how bad it is.
Speaker 3:I had no idea until, like until me going to jail. It's one of those things where it's like, how did you just snap out of it? And I don't know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I went to jail, so there wasn't anything that really happened that made you go fuck. Obviously Going to jail. Obviously going to jail did that.
Speaker 3:But it was like that moment, like you're just in like four walls.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's nothing in there. What the fuck am I doing with my life?
Speaker 3:Yeah like and everything starts to really kick in because obviously, like, you've taken the drugs away from you. I was in hospital for seven days prior to going to jail. So I was already like seven days, no fucking drugs. Then I went into jail. Then they put you in, um, they put you in quarantine for two weeks, so there's another three weeks already, and then I had to go into like the rehab place in there for like another week and a half, so there's already a month.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I was just like frizzling out and then I had to go into like the rehab place in there for like another week and a half, so there's already a month.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was just like frizzling out, and then like after that, then it just started, I don't know, just something just inside me just said sort your fucking life out, like sort it out.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And like you need to do something about it while you're in here. Don't wait until you're out there. There's something you need to do in here that needs to set the fucking the tone for it yeah.
Speaker 3:So then, like I just started training and I hadn't trained for like fuck three years, so I was stressing about that too. Like just trying to do push-ups and sit-ups, like I was fucked. Like the boys are like just train, just try and do everything you can every day, just every day, just just keep doing it. But I was doing like five push-ups, I was fucked. Like I was just shaking my legs are fucked, trying to do squats. I'm like, bro, I can't do this.
Speaker 2:This is fucked good old body weight. Yeah, like it was like when. When were you when you were in jail? Do you feel like there was a bit of scarcity or fear? Like looking at other people around you going fuck, like I don't want to be like that because I know with my own bringing fear. Like looking at other people around you going fuck, like I don't want to be like that because I know with my own bringing up, and looking at my brother and my sister and you know similar thing, like in and out of jail drug addicts for me, I have always like looked at them and been like I don't ever want to be like that. So that's always deterred me away from spiraling out of control. I had all the the resources to do that. I was brought up in an environment that you know I was basically destined to be like that, but they were my inspiration to to not be like that. So when you were in jail, do you think that was a part of you?
Speaker 3:like the I think maybe it was just myself, like looking in the mirror, going like you were that person you didn't want to be.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you turned to that thing that you didn't want to be. You turned into someone doing drugs every day, like I was. My mental health was fucked like absolute fucked. And when I mean fucked, I'm talking like there would be that dull moment where you just start to calm down because I didn't give my chance to calm down. There was like that split second I was trying to neck myself. I'd call a few people. I'd be like I need you to come over, because I'm not.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's table Like I'm not well yeah.
Speaker 3:Like having, like vivid images of me trying to neck myself, taking heaps of sleeping pills while I've fucking, you know yeah, so much drugs in the last two, three months with minimum sleep, not eating, and I'm just like fuck it, I'll take five aliens, whatever, fuck yeah, I'd call people crying saying hey, I need you to come check up on me because I don't.
Speaker 1:I don't know if I'll make it so do you think, like if you didn't go to jail, like you just probably wouldn't be here?
Speaker 3:100. I literally had that phone call, I think two or three weeks before me going to jail, crying on the phone to a couple people saying if I don't end up in jail I'll end up dead yeah like it was a mess it's crazy to like.
Speaker 1:It's crazy to think that, like knowing, like how you are now. It's crazy to think that, like, you got to that fucking point yeah, it's like where you are now. You're just so motivated and so driven and just so like you're full of fucking business ideas or just like throwing random shit out. You're like this is what we're doing, like it's crazy.
Speaker 3:Hey, yeah, it's just yeah, I I can't explain it, but I just know like I'll never go back to that. It was just like the biggest wakening up, I guess, in the sense, and obviously now, like I've learned heaps too, like I was always just like obviously being on the gear. It's just always like about you and you're like just got tunnel vision. You're just thinking about yourself, your life, you're being um what's the word?
Speaker 2:it's like selfish, selfish, yeah in, yeah, yeah. And we're like now now I've learnt heaps going into jail.
Speaker 1:Cassie, like yeah.
Speaker 2:Cassie is Ivy's boyfriend Girlfriend. I'm so sorry. Anyway, she's sitting over there. She's production for the day, yeah.
Speaker 3:Like going to jail and being in there with some of those boys that are a lot older, um, and even though they've done wrong or right things, they're still there going like you can still sort yourself out like it's not, it's not mad to do all this bad shit like it's not. You can turn your life around and you still got to do the normal things. You got to respect yourself.
Speaker 3:You sort of give back to others and stuff like that and once being in there for a little bit with the older boys, I really started to learn like what you give is what you get. Like whatever you give, you're going to get it back and just little things, like when we're cooking food and dinner and lunch. There's some boys in there that don't get much, they don't get money, they don't get to buy their food, so like we'll just do like big cook-ups. Everyone will put in like a pack of noodles or just something, and you just cook it up and you give it to everyone. And I learned off that it always came back like tenfold in being like in the worst place in the world.
Speaker 3:It always come back. And after that, now being outside, I've learned like just keep giving and it'll just come. It It'll come wherever, wherever from.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and it's the biggest thing I've learned that ties in with I don't know if you know much about law of attraction but it's literally like yeah, what you're putting out to the world is basically you know, what you're going to get back Vibrating high all the time, yeah, 100%, just like just those things, and then like really working on myself, like personal development, like there's no point you trying to like help other people, or I guess, yeah, I guess help other people when you haven't fully like work on yourself, like you're gonna keep working on yourself like you've got to.
Speaker 1:You can't pour from an empty cup and all that shit.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like there's no way I would have just come out straight away and like now because now I do like PT and like there's a lot of people that message me and ask me about addiction and I honestly just try and do whatever I can to help them Advice, techniques, everything there's no way I could have just come straight out and just started helping people. Like I've been getting back into the gym trying to get myself good until I'm like I'm in a good place and my mental health to go. You know what fuck I can actually start giving back to all these people that need help.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And that's the biggest thing, like with the gym, that's like absolutely saved my ass, yeah.
Speaker 2:If I didn't have the gym, like I reckon, I'd be fried yeah.
Speaker 3:Do you know what? I was on house arrest for like a year, just getting stuck at home and like you're not doing anything. Your mind's like either not racing or is racing. Do you know what I mean? It's like one or the other. It's like real flat and there's nothing happening and you just feel like you're fucked. Or it's going 100 miles an hour and the gym just like saved me heat.
Speaker 3:Like it's just kept me in a good routine and it's like the biggest tool for me to like just stay motivated, keep going like keep pushing yourself. Mental clarity yeah, being healthy.
Speaker 2:And learning more too. Were you training before you went to jail, like before?
Speaker 3:you got into that addiction no, so like I was literally just like I was the unhealthiest person ever eating whatever you want fucking maccas, whatever and bendering.
Speaker 1:That was it okay just goes to show, like how important all that stuff is.
Speaker 2:Hey, yeah, like fitness well, I feel like fitness, like even for me, bodybuilding and fitness. It has built me into being like my work, ethic and discipline yeah, I never, never had any of that when I was younger and if it wasn't for the gym. You even see, like you know, people that are starting out and you're probably being pt. It's like they're like I can't do it and it's like, yes, you fucking can.
Speaker 3:And then two, three weeks later they've got that little bit more mental grit and they're like, yeah, let's go, they've got that you know the oomph in them but then it shows it comes out in other aspects in their life too.
Speaker 2:Yes, those sorts of work or they're like they push that little bit harder in everything they're doing, and that's not the biggest thing.
Speaker 3:It's not for me like, as I said, like fitness isn't just me going to gym, like looking good or whatever, it's literally like a life tool for me like to keep me on the path, keep me motivated, keep me disciplined, keep the routine like in all aspects of my life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and I feel like that's one thing that a lot of people don't realize is that you know, especially with your mindset, you're releasing so many feel-good hormones when you train and a lot of people that are addicted to drugs are trying to chase those hormones like them feel-good hormones. So if you're putting yourself in, like you know, an environment where you're releasing them naturally, you are more likely going to deter yourself away from that lifestyle, that environment or, you know, hanging around the wrong people, because you're getting that from a natural source yeah, so you're going to replace that habit with another habit.
Speaker 3:That that's going to similar thing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah yeah, well, that's like smoking. Like half the smokers, they've all become vapors. You know what I mean it's like it's a great vaping I would.
Speaker 1:I was chewing on chewy like it wasn't nicotine, it was just normal chewy, because I had to just swap that habit of vaping consistently with just like something, and now I don't even need it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like that's one thing. What do they call it Habit? It's not habit swapping. It's not habit stacking. No, that's when you do like I'm going to vape and I'm going to smoke.
Speaker 3:Do the combo, do the convo.
Speaker 1:Yeah, um question when you did like come out of jail, was there any like time where you felt like you did want to go back down that path?
Speaker 3:or not? Really no, because like that you'd already sort of hit that like.
Speaker 1:I already had that like we like disgusted in yourself.
Speaker 2:I am, I am because, that's why I like yeah when you wake up in the morning, you look at yourself, you don't even wake up and you're like oh you get home?
Speaker 1:it sounds like you get home.
Speaker 3:You look at yourself and you're like yuck, yeah, it's legit a good question because, like, I still feel that now, like I still suffer with ptsd, I still suffer with trauma. Um, just things that happened while I was like that there's things that I can't separate the two activities from. Yeah, so it's fucked me, so I'm still dealing with that stuff too. But like, yeah, like there's things I'm just like like it literally makes me sick.
Speaker 1:like to my stomach. Yeah, oh, here you go?
Speaker 2:I was just going to say like, have you done shadow work, like kind of looking back into that time and then trying to nurture yourself?
Speaker 3:Yeah, back into that time and then trying to nurture yourself. And uh, yeah, I want to there's, I want to start seeing like counselors and stuff and like unpacking it all. But because of my trial I want to wait, because I don't want to tap into my mental health. Yeah, you want, I'm in a good place at the moment, like I'm in a really good place, so I don't want to tap into that and say something bad has happened and I have to go back in.
Speaker 2:I don't want to yeah, yeah, I don't want to say, yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, it's like opening a can of worms.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, I mean so I'm in a good place at the moment, so I'll wait and see what happens, and then, yeah, that's the next thing when I start working so you've got three weeks.
Speaker 1:Yeah, hectic it's coming so fast. Oh, my god, I won't be here. It'll be fine guys acting like he's murdered someone or something so what do you think, some of the biggest obstacles that you faced during your journey?
Speaker 1:like coming out of the addiction yes, yeah, and like out of jail and all that like yeah, like what, like even like, what were your um, like what was like the kind of first steps that you took when you came out of jail? Because obviously you said about how you came out and like you were on house arrest and all that sort of stuff, what were some things that like helped you? And then, yeah, like something that was the biggest challenge, I guess.
Speaker 3:I guess being on house arrest helped me, because it makes you just stay home. Yeah yeah, you can't leave, you can't go anywhere.
Speaker 2:You can't go out as hard as it Do they drug test you.
Speaker 3:They can they haven't.
Speaker 3:So yes, you'd be stupid to be getting on it, yeah but they can, you know so, but yeah, just like, I think cutting out the people that you're around is the biggest thing and it's the easiest but hardest thing. Yeah, Because a lot of people ask like, oh, what can I do? Like I'm like, do you still hang out with them? Like, yeah, like every day. I'm like how are you ever going to get rid of the habit, the thought, hearing people talk about it being in front of you if you're with it every day? You've got to cut them out. It doesn't matter. Like, at the end of the day, they live in their life. You're living your life, care about you and want to see you do better and get like rid of those things. They wouldn't do it in front of you. Yeah, exactly, do you know what it's?
Speaker 2:sorry to interrupt, but it reminds me of like you know, when you're in prep and you eat, like sorry, people are eating around you and they're like, oh sorry, like you're in prep, and then they remove themselves.
Speaker 3:I don't know if that's about.
Speaker 2:I used to always happen to me and it's like, babe, you can eat in front of me like it's fine, but it's it is. It's like, babe, you can eat in front of me Like it's fine, but it is. It's like people.
Speaker 3:You know, if you really care about somebody, you wouldn't sit there and start, you know racking up or whatever, if you wouldn't prep, like three weeks out and we're just going to start eating pizza in front of you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wouldn't do it.
Speaker 1:It's a shit, go I wouldn't care, but anyways, anyways, yeah, but like no, yeah, how would it for you to be just going?
Speaker 3:fuck on that pizza. Yeah, it's like, and it could break out. You just could put your mind off for, like you, got two weeks to your palm. That's the thing.
Speaker 1:There's not people worth being around. I guess as well yeah like you just gotta look at people's lives. Like you want to surround yourself we were talking about that the other week like you want to surround yourself with people who are gonna lift you up, with people that motivate you, and all that push you yeah I want to help you to, like, become a better person.
Speaker 3:That's right, yeah yeah a lot of people do ask me that and it's like the number one thing. But they're like oh, like, it's like heaps of men message me because it's crazy, like heaps of guys are scared to reach out every, every guy that messages me.
Speaker 1:They'll be like bro, I've been waiting to message you for like two months but haven't it's not just because I don't want to be vulnerable and like, yeah, they don't want to.
Speaker 3:Yeah they just don't want to say anything like it will take him two, three, four months to actually get that first message in wow and then most of them like oh, the boys after work always want to have a beer in that I'm like tell them that you want to stop drinking, tell them you can't go out anymore yeah so if you've got a missus or your wife, tell them what's going on so she can not chase you up, but just be like hey, babe, come home, we're going to do such and such with the kids after work.
Speaker 3:Or hey, babe, I've got dinner ready, such and such. Just to make you feel a bit more like I've got things to do, I don't have time to go to the boys and drink beers and shit, because that will slowly you'll cut them out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I've had these chats where they use their partner as an excuse as to why they're eating. You know, after dinner they're having their snacks. Oh, my partner always brings you know, the Tim Tams out and then we just sit in the lounge and eat the Tim Tams and things like that. But it's like you can still make that conscious decision to. You know, obviously, say no, but also the partner. It's like that communication. If you're going to sit there and go, oh you brought the tim tams out, I'm just gonna have one, you can say, hey, babe, you know I'm on a fat loss phase, or you know I'm dieting, or you know I want to lose weight. You know I've been complaining about me and my clothes and I'm not comfortable. Can you stop bringing out the tim?
Speaker 1:tams. You know what I mean. There's no way the partner's gonna be like but it girls. Some people want to sabotage you as well, like some people want to like sabotage you. So you just need to break up with them.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean, because the psychic said so.
Speaker 3:Let me read the topic guys.
Speaker 1:I haven't posted that reel yet. I know I've been waiting. But yeah, it's true, but like at the end of the day, if you've got a normal, decent partner, they'll be like yeah, sweet, like I'll go eat in my cupboard. It takes like situations like that, though, to realise if they fucking support you or not.
Speaker 2:Though, yeah, but communicating it, like if you're like your friends or the people that reach out to you, if they're not saying to the boys like, hey, I really want to stop drinking, or, you know, if they're not communicating, if the boys aren't aware, you know, that's where the communication is so important, yeah.
Speaker 3:I understand, like it's, the easiest thing to do is just have a chat with them, yeah. Let them know and then see what their actions happen, because if they don't do anything about it, then fuck them off, yeah. They're not like they're not your real mate.
Speaker 2:Yes, they're just.
Speaker 3:They want you there to have a friend to come have a beer, and that's the other good thing about doing that too, because then you're going to realise, like do these cunts really care about me or not? Are they really like there to help me, like when I'm in you know shit situations or whatever? They're really going to help me pick myself up on that? If they don't, then fuck them off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I tell heaps of people that I'm like bro, if they're not going to them off it's so easy to cut people off these days, though I feel like back in the day I found it hard when I was probably more of a in a vulnerable situation. I was hanging around with, like you know, dodgy people. But yeah, now I'm just like fucking cut it.
Speaker 1:I'm just like done with people yeah, you know, or even some friends like I was saying this to you the other week like some friends like I have that, like they just make me feel like fucking shit, not cheap, they're just draining to be around even. And like I'm just like I'm minimizing my time with you, like they ring me and I'm like I'll just let that fucking yeah, yeah, like yeah, yeah, I feel like it's easy to um.
Speaker 1:I don't know, like now when nowadays, yeah, when you when you've got your you know where you yeah, when you, when you're like living in alignment and just like, yeah, yeah, not even when you've got your shit together, because I don't.
Speaker 3:I don't think anyone does, but like when you find your like, when you actually know your purpose, like what your goals are and like what you're going to align them with, like you just don't have time for all the other shit and if people want to be a part of it, sweet, they'll join in if they're on that same path you know, yeah, but the rest they can just fuck off.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's like you've got a standard for yourself, whereas when you're younger you don't have the standard it's like you don't have any boundaries and stuff set in place as well too, like you just don't have the life experience.
Speaker 3:Yeah, like all the shit that we're talking about. Like we used to probably listen to all this shit.
Speaker 1:We're like this fucking don't make sense yeah, I mean like 10 years, like five years ago. You're like what, yeah, I'm not doing this shit, yeah, but now like it all comes like full circle, like now it actually makes sense yeah, yeah, so true.
Speaker 2:So yeah, it falls together, it's so crazy, like how everything happens.
Speaker 1:For a reason too, though, like I feel, like you know.
Speaker 3:Obviously you had to go to jail and you had to do all of that but it's like look at you helping all these people now too, like it's so cool because, um, so like I also work with this charity, it's called ready to change. So there's, uh, it's like a youth group. Um shout out to ned. Um, he works with these troubled kids in um, in mount joy yeah they're pretty much in the same position.
Speaker 3:They're all like, say like 10 or 15. They're either in trouble with the law, they're fucking wagon school, they're doing dumb shit. So I'll go see them on mondays and that and talk to them and just give them, I guess, inspiration and stories, like from being through what I've been through, to show them like it's it never fucking ends good and especially like that young too like it doesn't end good, especially when they're already in shit with the cops already do you?
Speaker 3:know what I mean. So, yeah, there's another thing too. But like when I talk to them, I listen to myself in my head. I'm like, bro, like your parents used to tell you this shit, why didn't?
Speaker 1:you listen?
Speaker 3:yeah, yeah, now, it's just like fucking hell, like now it all makes sense, like what people were trying to tell you yeah for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's funny that it's like when you're younger and you're getting told like you know, you don't want to listen, your eye roll and everything.
Speaker 3:Yeah yeah literally shut up mom, but it makes sense it does.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's funny, you say that it's funny too, because, like some of them will probably still keep going down that path, but there'll be some that just like yeah, you can't, you can't say even more, but you know, but I guess you do best.
Speaker 3:And the other thing, too, is, those kids aren't there because their parents are making them. They're there because they volunteered. They've realised going fuck luck. That's cool, that's the beauty of his thing, which I love. Those kids don't have to come there. Those kids are there every week to go. I want to fucking sort my shit out before I get fucked.
Speaker 2:I respect that. Respect that it's really good. It's really really good. Do they have community groups like that everywhere, or is it only in Sydney that you know of? I would think so.
Speaker 3:I'm not 100% sure, but I would think most places would have things like that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3:You'd have to look into it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like that would be really cool to like actually be a part of something like that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, for sure. Yeah, it's mad Like it's such a good little.
Speaker 2:It'd be, just rewarding. It's so good.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's so good trying to talk to those kids and then like actually listening and like even responding back to you, I got a bit of potential to work with them after my trial and he wants to even maybe where I can design my own program so like to go to like schools or juvies be like motivational speaker kind of a thing, that plus try and tie into fitness so I can express to them that fitness is a tool, yeah, to not do what they're doing yeah, so yeah, I'm really keen on doing that is there any other things that, like you, sort of used as a tool for your mindset, apart from fitness?
Speaker 1:no, fitness has been my number 100, it's like number one, number one, yeah like I just didn't, wasn't sure, because you had some guys were like they journal and stuff. They don't want to talk about it, yeah, do. But like yeah, you know what I mean. I'm like do you journal, like all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 3:I did start like doing it because I wanted to. I was just experimenting. Like I was just using different things. I was reading, I was seeing, I was trying it for a bit and I guess what I did see like is I was writing down how I wanted my life to be in the future, kind of like, so you could show up as that person, yeah, so I just kept writing it over and over again love that shit.
Speaker 3:Just keep writing how I wanted, like a little paragraph this is how I want to be, or not? This is how I want to be. This is how I am. I wanted I was writing it as if it's already happened yes and I did notice like the positivity like in my mind subconsciously was every day, was like you're doing good, like you're getting to where you want. It's just like positive was just kicking in by itself. That's the thing I did notice.
Speaker 1:I have stopped doing it, but I'm in a good well that shit just compounds over time too, hey like you just do it and then like it just slowly starts to compound until that's just like what you fucking do.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, it just feels like it was giving you, it was giving yourself positive feedback.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and then that's basically what you were changing your identity, like how, how you were looking and what you were saying to yourself, because, as you said, like you got to a point where you were disgusted in with yourself. So to turn that around, for you to write you know who you are and who you want to be. That's like kind of cementing that in your brain that's like when I got my pro card. It was like for a year beforehand.
Speaker 1:I am just Benny WBbf. Every fucking day, every morning yeah yeah and then that show.
Speaker 2:I ended up getting it and that's why, like I'm a massive, massive, believer on law of attraction and and changing your identity. So then you're actioning what an athlete would do or what a clean person would do. You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:So yeah, because I read. I get sometimes I get real deep in stuff and I'll do research and I think somewhere I read whenever you write it, how I was writing it, your future, but you, you've already done it. If you do that long enough, your subconscious mind can't tell the difference if it's true or not, oh my god, yeah, it can't because you start thinking it, you start believing it you start dreaming about it, it can't tell if it's real or not.
Speaker 3:Oh my God. Yeah, it can't. Because you start thinking it, you start believing it, you start dreaming about it, it can't tell if it's real or not. So that positive feedback just happening all the time by itself is like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, you think about, like the women that are like two different body shapes. One girl could be fucking huge, you know what I mean, and be so confident in her skin. Wear shorts, crop tops, and she's, you know, she's happy, she does, she's, you know. And then you've got somebody that is much smaller, that won't wear, you know, shorts because of their cellulite. But what the narrative they've told themselves their whole life is I'm fat, um, you know this, I don't look good in shorts, whatever. But that bigger girl has been told by her mom, her sisters, her fucking everyone and herself that she's amazing, she's beautiful she's confident, she looks good in shorts.
Speaker 2:Fuck everyone else's opinion. You know what I mean. So two different like mindsets, yeah, it's gonna deliver a whole different life. Really Fuck. I said that good, you did Like. Where did that come from? All right, I'm out. Guys Done, my mouth is so dry.
Speaker 1:I just got Invisalign and it's fucking so shit it literally like my mouth doesn't. Is he editing this? Yeah, oh, fuck, oh, fuck Minutes.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Amazing. What's some advice that you would give to someone who is currently battling with addiction or facing similar challenges?
Speaker 3:I don't know, I'm glad you came prepared.
Speaker 2:She's done well I don't know.
Speaker 3:She's done well.
Speaker 1:First thing, like I said, like I wanted to make the most of it, guys.
Speaker 3:Would be, as I said, like cut out anyone who's doing it, just fuck them off. Don't have to fuck them off completely, but just stop hanging around them, stop talking about them.
Speaker 2:How would you so somebody that wants to cut off their friends and this is like, I guess, from males, from both perspectives, like females are more likely to, I guess feel like they're losing their whole world in a girls group or whatever, or like the weekend. How would you approach fucking them off in your words? Because, like me and Em, would just be like fuck off. They're like somebody that's a little bit more soft.
Speaker 3:There's honestly, some guys that are like oh but like you know, they're like somebody that's a little bit more soft.
Speaker 3:There's, honestly, some guys that are like, oh, but like you know, like they're my mates, like I've been with them for, like you know my boys for like 15 years and I'd be like, yeah, that's sweet, but, as I said, like you, have the chat with them, have communication with them, if they really respect you as a mate and they can see you in a bit of shit, they would surely respect you enough to be like all right, bro, like I won't ask you to come out, I won't you, you know, I won't ask you to be around it. They will do that, but if they don't, then they don't fucking respect you. Yeah, like it's real black and white.
Speaker 2:So that's when you kind of know okay well, you don't respect me, so I'm not going to respect you, so I'm going to fuck you off. It makes it yeah it makes it easier.
Speaker 3:Yeah, cut them off, like you don't have to go fuck you, but you just go like yeah bro, if he I've just had a chat with him yeah, he knows I'm dealing with a lot of shit. If he can't respect it and not talk about it when I'm around him, or you know, don't ask me to come have a drink or all this shit.
Speaker 3:If they can't respect that, then like it's not worth it, yeah yeah, it's black and white yeah just to don't have to throw some balls, basically yeah, like you said, like some people get a bit worried or just stop talking to them just slowly yeah, kind of like yeah, communicate, yeah, see where you stand in that friendship.
Speaker 2:If you're not respected, that's when you should feel not guilty for cutting them off.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah and then obviously, if you can, if you're that bad, like, go to rehab. If you can, if you've got mates that will support you taking you there, shit like that, like I wish I did. I used to say like I need to go to rehab. You need to go to rehab, but because I was so fried on the fucking drugs, I was panicking like I'm going to get locked in there they're not gonna let you out and do you know what?
Speaker 1:it's funny, though, because I didn't even see it I hope the camera quality is really good, I know so you just see it.
Speaker 2:That's good.
Speaker 3:Fuck, what was I saying?
Speaker 2:Yeah, where were we at too? We were talking about rehab.
Speaker 3:Rehab. So Like cause? I used to say like I need to go rehab? I need to go rehab like fucking someone, take me to rehab. But then I was so fried I'm like they're gonna leave me in there, they're not gonna let me out, they're gonna fucking you're like paranoid.
Speaker 1:I can't go.
Speaker 3:I can't go. They won't let me out Like I'll freak out Like I should have just fucking yeah. But, it's hard like.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you've got to be like ready to go yourself too, like if you're like in that mindset you're not going to go there, are you?
Speaker 3:It's like you've got to be like really, really ready and you need to take me.
Speaker 2:It doesn't matter if I tell you to fuck off like if we have a fight.
Speaker 3:You take me. Do you know what?
Speaker 2:I mean it's got to be like that.
Speaker 3:It's like you know, if you've got other friends to come get me, you've got to kidnap me and take me it's got to be to that point where I should have like said that to my mate.
Speaker 2:I said no, yeah, boop me off. You know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, but it just goes to show like if you hadn't done rehab. Obviously you know being in jail, but you know there's so many people that go to rehab that are constantly relapsing. Yeah so again, like it's so, like your mindset. Your mind is such a big component of this, yeah 100%.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was just scared to go back to where I was. I was fucked. No, I'm so scared yeah.
Speaker 1:That's crazy, though, as I said before, it's wild to like think that you were ever there, like knowing you now.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the person that you are now, it's just like crazy yeah. I don't wish upon anyone like being like that depressed being that paranoid, being that fucking like mentally unstable Like I do not wish it upon anyone do not wish it upon anyone.
Speaker 1:It's crazy too, because like when you're just partying and stuff, though you don't realize yourself getting lost in it until you're like really at a really fucking low place until, like you are lost.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I wasn't like fully there, like to that point, but like yeah, I was pretty fucking low like for a while, like it was really bad, and like even now, like you know, obviously I'll still go out with my friends and stuff, but I'm home by like fucking 10 o'clock. Sometimes I won't drink, you know. So like what are you laughing at?
Speaker 1:I backdoor it all the time but yeah, no, just because it's just not like a part of yeah, I just don't enjoy it anymore either, because I just, yeah, connect the two things together and it's just like I just don't want to be that person anymore. I think back to how I used to be and like snap, snapchat, memories come up and I'm just like yuck Like gross Because I deleted Snapchat Like I can't.
Speaker 3:That was literally like when we watched a movie the other day with fuck what's it called Grind and, yes, with Mark Wahlberg and the Rock the Rock gets frizzled on fucking rack and the way he was acting and sweating and pulling faces I looked at it PTSD.
Speaker 1:I said I can't do this. I said you're a crook. Yeah, you make me sick as fuck it was literally making me twist up.
Speaker 2:I'm like bro, that's exactly how it was yeah.
Speaker 3:And it's making me ill.
Speaker 1:Yeah, ugh brother ugh.
Speaker 3:No, ew brother Fucking filthy eh.
Speaker 1:Fuck off.
Speaker 3:Somatic experience. I tell you.
Speaker 1:Looking back, what would you say to your younger self?
Speaker 2:Cool. I don't know, I can't even say You're 25, so how old are you now? 30 30, okay yeah.
Speaker 3:I don't know.
Speaker 1:Don't do it bro.
Speaker 2:Don't you fucking put that thing near your nose. Like obviously, but then again like I don't, it's like I don't regret Because it's like Massive lifestyle, yeah, like how I have come out.
Speaker 3:I am better than I ever was.
Speaker 1:Even before. Then yeah, like at this moment, right now, I'm the best person I've ever been yeah, we're not saying go down a really bad path in the hopes you'll come out of that man?
Speaker 2:No, I'm not saying that Go fuck your life up to get your life on track.
Speaker 1:No, but sometimes it's funny you say that because sometimes, yeah, I honestly I hit rock bottom to be this. I was never this motivated and this disciplined and blah, blah blah. Look at Kina. Yeah, exactly, shout out Kina.
Speaker 2:But yeah, Kina Shout outs everywhere. Like he, yeah, he was in the bad. Like he was, yeah, doing some bad things, and now he's doing really well.
Speaker 1:But like, yeah, it's's I feel like different rock bottom like rock bottom can be different for everybody, but it's almost like sometimes you do need to hit that point to be able to yeah go, yeah, yeah, I guess but the straight it's got to, I feel like it's got to be.
Speaker 2:It's normally the strong ones that make it. Oh yeah, you know what I mean that's, that was just about to say.
Speaker 1:If you're like a spark, that was gonna sound yeah, mentally you've kind of already got to have that strength there, because then, yeah, that's when people don't come out of a bad place?
Speaker 3:yeah, it's not. It's not easy. Like they're still alive? Yeah it's fucking hard there's people that, like, have done what I do, but they don't come out good yeah, yeah, they fucking go back, or they go back to jail and they get stuck in and they just keep doing it there's some people that just don't break it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it's fucked.
Speaker 3:It is fucked and like I didn't know if I was going to make it or not, you know what I mean Like I didn't, I had no fucking idea.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:But for some reason it's just so.
Speaker 1:What is like let's take your younger self out of it.
Speaker 3:What's like some things that you tell them like your story or like no, I just start telling them like from my experience, because I haven't been close with my family that those little things do matter and they do eat you up eventually. I said like you're only like 15, I said I'm 30 and it gets to me now was that something that like was always a thing like growing up like? Really that close.
Speaker 1:It's always been like that yeah and like yeah yeah cassie just said he's the black sheep of the family. You should just pull up a chair, yeah, so like there's just like all those little things like you don't.
Speaker 3:When I was younger, I was just like whatever, I don't know if like it is what it? Is like. I'm not saying like it was them or me, it was just like yeah, it is what it is like for me, it's the norm. And now, getting older, it does eat you up because it's like birthdays, christmases, like I haven't done any of that for the fucking 20 years. Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1:well, would you say someone who, like, doesn't have much of a good support system, because I know like cass will shout out cass, I know she fucking supported you so and she still does this is my ride or die, she's your fucking rock bro. She's the best yeah, but like yeah like, what would you say to someone who doesn't really have like a support system like that? Like, do you feel like obviously it would have been much harder if you didn't have?
Speaker 3:yeah people backing you.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean. So what would you say? Someone who doesn't because, like you know, me and jess kind of sometimes talk to people who will like feel like they don't have support? Yeah, and it's like what?
Speaker 3:only thing I could say is whoever they can talk to, yeah, even if they don't think it's, they're the closest, but if they can, at least talk to them, talk to them yeah just like reach out.
Speaker 1:Don't be scared to reach out yeah even reach out to us three, it doesn't matter yeah, literally that's what me and jess said on like the last one that we recorded. Really, it was like go out and find people that will support you, yeah, which is why we created that like the women's networking?
Speaker 2:yeah empowering connect group.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that exact reason, because I talked to so many girls who were like, um yeah, even just in business, but like they'll be in business doing their own thing and they just feel so lost.
Speaker 2:They have no one to talk to and it's like you know yeah we'll help and there's like, as ivy said, there's so many like there, there is community, like there's things away from social media that you can put yourself into to meet new people and, I guess, to be in an environment where you can.
Speaker 3:It's hard and it's scary, like you know what I mean, but at the end of the day, everyone is there for the good reason and you know to back each other. So, yeah, it's hard to take that step, but just take it because like it could be the best thing you do.
Speaker 1:You know what I mean.
Speaker 3:It could be the start of something that you need.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, guys, our DMs are always open 100%, yeah, 100%. What else have you got? That's all I really had. I feel like I covered or cut that, jacob, sorry. I'm going to ask you a question no, keep it, Cut that, Jacob sorry.
Speaker 2:I'm going to ask you a question. No, keep it.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay, keep it there It'll be all right, go for it.
Speaker 2:What's your favourite quote to finish it off?
Speaker 3:I don't even have a favourite.
Speaker 1:I hate that question she asked me and I was like live, laugh, love.
Speaker 3:I don't even have a quote. Eh, what's?
Speaker 2:your favourite song.
Speaker 3:Now you're asking questions. I don't listen to music when I train nothing Really. Yeah, oh, my God, I have learned training doing cardio, the most hardest training you can do with no music is all in a demon. If you can listen to those motherfuckers while you're training and push yourself, bro, you're winning.
Speaker 1:I love that. That was good. That was fucking good.
Speaker 3:But you yourself, bro, you're winning. I love that. That was good, but you are winning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go on the treadmill for 20 minutes like run, with no music, and just listen to what happens, like listen to yeah, yeah, dr huberman talks about that, and because you're not relying on the dopamine that you're getting from the headphones like your music your favorite songs.
Speaker 2:So it's actually really good for your mental strength so, like true, there go.
Speaker 1:Learn something new every day.
Speaker 3:So I've been doing that for ages now, like even in the car. The radio's off, I sit in the car, nothing.
Speaker 1:I love. After a long day you just sit in silence, that's the best, yeah, just every day.
Speaker 3:Like now it's just like normal. Like putting music on is weird for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like I, I love that answer. Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 3:I know, I just feel like you just tap into yourself like what's going on inside and stuff.
Speaker 2:Yeah, there you go. Everyone Monday. No headphones, I understand. No headphones at the gym anymore.
Speaker 1:I thought you were going to say we're going to have a go for a run club. Oh yeah, no headphones.
Speaker 2:Well, I thought we established on the first episode no run clubs. All right, I all right.
Speaker 3:I reckon that's all we got yeah, let's wrap it up.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much, ivy, for coming in thank you guys for inviting our first special guest. Yes, if you guys um follow ivy on socials, facebook instagram yeah, um, and as he said, his ds, like inbox, is open.
Speaker 1:So if anyone does relate, we'll put a little link to yeah, I can Facebook yeah, on the description box. Yeah, sounds great.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you can message me, go for it yeah yeah, sweet, thank you girls thank you amazing.
Speaker 1:See you next time.