Show Up Uncut
Welcome to "Show Up Uncut," a podcast where two fierce ladies bring you unfiltered conversations on business, health, fitness, and mindset.
Join us for an unapologetic exploration of the highs, lows, and everything in between as we share raw, real-life stories from the trenches of SHOWING UP. From crushing goals in business to smashing personal best at the gym, we're here to inspire and empower you to show up fully in every aspect of your life. Get ready for straight talk, bold insights, and unwavering authenticity as we dive deep into what it takes to succeed in business and beyond. Tune in and get ready to elevate your game with "Show Up Uncut"!
Show Up Uncut
Real Talk About Authentic Relationships
What happens when love, loyalty, and authenticity intersect in relationships? Join us as we unravel the intimate details of Em's serendipitous meeting with AJ, and Jess's complex, decade-long on-again, off-again romance with Logan. We'll share the profound lessons we've learned about the importance of not settling, finding someone who truly values and respects you, and the role of family approval in relationships. Prepare to be moved by personal stories that reveal the mysterious forces that keep couples together, and how relationships can feel like everything finally aligns.
Communication's transformative power in relationships takes center stage as we explore the beauty of healthy dialogue and conflict resolution. Reflecting on our past experiences, we reveal how we overcame toxic communication patterns like screaming matches and grudges. Discover how patience, understanding, and effective communication have become the new norm in our lives, and how trust and intuition play pivotal roles in fostering stronger bonds. Our candid discussion highlights the significance of listening and mutual respect, encouraging a willingness to change and adapt for the sake of a loving partnership.
Finally, we celebrate the strength of showing up as our authentic selves in both romantic and platonic relationships. In a world full of distractions and temptations, we emphasize the importance of nurturing genuine connections through self-acceptance and overcoming insecurities. Hear our reflections on the impact of supportive relationships on personal growth, and the value of meaningful friendships built on mutual understanding. This episode is a heartfelt tribute to authentic love and the journey of self-acceptance, offering insights into building fulfilling, lasting relationships.
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Welcome back to Show Up Uncut with Em and Jess. So today we're going to be talking about relationships. Because people apparently want to know about our love life, which is very uninteresting. No, it's actually just interesting. We've got some juicy things for you today, so I'm ready for it.
Speaker 2:Em's got a little lag. What, what do you call it? Like you're, when you're, um, it's like that new life about you when you've, when you've got your man oh yeah, and you just like happier it's like it's a new energy, it's a new vibe. Yeah, it's like a pregnancy glow. Yeah, it's like you've taken it off me and given it I don't fucking have it feeding off you.
Speaker 1:Um, yeah, no, so would you like me to start? Yeah no so let's just talk about our relationships and, like you know, like for me personally, I'll just start here. We go okay.
Speaker 1:So for me personally, like my mom, has always said to me I've never been lucky in love, like I've always been so unlucky in love and I always I kind of had this belief, like I remember saying to my mom my mom and dad are still together, right. So I have like really good role models around what love should be and what a relationship should be. I don't think I've ever seen them have a fight. They love each other so fucking much still to this day and I've just always grown up wanting that and they love their kids. They'll do anything for us. They'd do anything for each other, even when they have arguments I mean sorry, not arguments, because they don't argue, lol when they have things arise, it's never like them against each other, it's like us against the problem. Yeah, it's like us against the world type of energy, right? Yeah, and my mom's always said to me you know, like, um, like when you know, you'll know.
Speaker 1:And I'm like fucking as if cunt I didn't call my mom cunt, but like yeah as if I was like as if that's there for me, like I just had this belief that like that doesn't exist anymore. Right, like there's. It's so much easier for people to cheat. Like I have been cheated on by every single motherfucker that I have let into my life, whether it's physically cheated, whether it's fucking just been talking to other girls sending photos, I don't give a fuck. All of that shit is cheating. If you feel like you need to hide something from your partner, it's fucking cheating. Yeah, right, like I don't give a fuck if you talk to other girls. Aj has like so many girlfriends. I have so many guy friends but, like you know, it's fine because it's nothing, it's a trust and loyalty.
Speaker 2:Loyalty, that is a big thing. I feel like, as you said, if you feel like you've got to hide something from your partner, like even when it comes down to financials, and like you know there's so many different aspects in a relationship that, yeah, it's like that's what fucking breaks things down and I feel like that's what I realized, what logan and I not the like. We've never cheated on each other.
Speaker 1:We've never had any issues in that regard, but it's more so, like logan and jess, they have been together on and off since we're 18 so it's been.
Speaker 2:We broke up two times, so two major times. And how old are you now, jess? Fucking 28? It's been 10 years of this on and off, so it's like a long time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah but the universe just keeps bringing them together yes, which I think is kind of cool. Yeah, it's like you're meant to be but like definitely.
Speaker 1:I feel like so. When I met aj, he's gonna die if he listens to this. When I met aj, like it was literally, like I'm not gonna say love at first sight because that's so cringe, but like it was literally like we like went for dinner and like the conversation went from surface level to so fucking deep, like went zero to 100, hey, and like I remember sitting there laughing and he's like what, and I was like I have never been on a first date with someone and had conversations like this before. Like it was literally like we just had known each other forever, like it was just so cool and like both. Like what I loved about him that I hadn't had before is that he was so genuinely interested in getting to know me as a person yeah, which is powerful?
Speaker 1:and he has no fucking ego, like he comes into things being exactly who he is and like that's what I fucking love about him, like he's just so genuine and like even now, like I say to my mom like you know, remember how you told me that you know, when you know, you know, like I know with him, like we're so solid and like he'd do anything for me, I'd do anything for him. Like it's just like nothing I have ever experienced before. Like I just can't say it enough do not settle, ladies, because there's someone out there that will literally just like treat you like a fucking queen. And, like you know, even my mom like I have never introduced a guy to my parents where they have loved someone this much. Like my mom literally said to me the other day, which was huge. She literally said to me aj is amazing, emma.
Speaker 1:And I was like what amazing? And she goes. I think you are so fucking lucky. And I was like, oh my god, my heart I rangma, and I was like what amazing? And she goes. I think you are so fucking lucky. And I was like, oh my god, my heart I rang him and I was like babe, guess what my mom just said about you like it was just fucking so nice, that's sweet and like his family, like says the same things about me as well, and like we just bring out the best in each other, which is what I love.
Speaker 1:Like, even when, like say, if something arises, and like we need to have a conversation about it, it's just a conversation, it's never an argument, we don't argue and, like you know, it's just so fucking refreshing to have someone just be on the same level as you all the time and he always says to me too, which I love, like you know, I'm very much this.
Speaker 1:I was very much like you know, I'm so good on my own, I'm so happy on my own and such a good place. I don't want someone to come along and fucking like disturb my peace. Right, and he was the same. He was like I'm in such a good place now Like I don't want someone to come along and, like you know, mess everything up for me and, like you know, just so much better, and that's how he makes me feel, like a little peace bubble he likes to call it.
Speaker 2:He's so cute, he's so adorable, he's a bit cringe, but like just because it's him I don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1:I think it's cute. But he's honestly the best, like. I just honestly like oh, I'm just so happy with him. He just makes my heart melt. Back to like the when you said sorry, back what? Back to like. Every time I feel like I ramble on for ages and then just be like anyway, back to what you were saying before no, no, no, because there was something I let you finish and then because we used to when we used to start podcasts.
Speaker 2:We used to yeah and yell at you for each other and these poor people's ears. We're getting better. So, like when I, when you say something, I'm like, oh, that's a really good point. Yeah, I'll get on to it when you're finished.
Speaker 2:Um, so with the arguments, like I actually found that like that in itself, like arguments are healthy, and that's something that I have learned like arguments, not so much like screaming and yelling, and no, that's what I meant, yeah, yeah, that's what I meant because, like every time I've been in a relationship, it has never like if I came to someone within my partner with an issue it would be fucking a screaming match.
Speaker 1:And even just back to having male friends like yeah, why the fuck are you talking to that cunt for like, right, right, like, and I'm like brother, yeah, like it would be that sort of shit. It was just toxic, right. Let's just say toxic, yeah, toxic.
Speaker 2:And that's where like I've noticed with logan and I now that it's so much like we can actually sit down and have a have a discussion about something and if because we know each other so well and he's got a lot of trauma like that he's been working on and he still needs to work on he's not perfect and I'm not perfect either no one's perfect but like it's about like growing together yeah, and if it's like an argument where it is heightened, we will leave each other and we will leave it for the afternoon or the night.
Speaker 2:Or I'll always say sorry to him now, or he will say sorry to me and we will like have a kiss or whatever and then, kind of, we won't talk about the argument because we know that it's just not the right time yet. But, like we, always come.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you come back to it.
Speaker 2:You don't push it under the rug, no, and we come back to it with a level-headed yeah and we'll discuss it.
Speaker 1:You're a fiery type like in an argument like will you like?
Speaker 2:only if my point isn't being heard, and I'm yeah, if I'm trying to get my point across yeah, and they're not hearing you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sometimes people like, sometimes people will like not actually listen. That's what. That's what I've realized. You have to like shut the fuck up, because I can be like like you know what I mean, but like you need to learn how to shut the fuck up and actually listen and take things on board. I'm very good at doing that and I feel like AJ is as well. So like that's where I've always found in relationships. Is that like when someone will come to me with an issue, I'd be like, oh fuck, babe, I can see that from your point of view. I'm sorry, but this is how you made me feel. And then they're not hearing me, and that's when I get heightened and I will like fucking, I'll go until you fucking hear me, and that was one of my things.
Speaker 1:It's like, you know, aj just brings out the best in me, because he doesn't let me get to that point, because he will listen to me and I listen to him and I just think that like that's such a huge fucking thing, like yeah, I love it, it's so good and like even for you guys. Like you guys might not be able to just have a conversation straight off the bat, but at least you guys have now learned to pull like yourselves away yeah well, we used to ignore each other.
Speaker 2:We literally used to ignore each other. Like we literally used to ignore each other. Like we could go a week of just living in the same? Yeah, we would like we would talk and go, like you know, have you fed the dogs or do I need to?
Speaker 1:feed the dogs or like do you?
Speaker 2:want anything from the shops? No, okay, like it would be Just passing conversation. Yeah, like it would just be. Like we would still communicate, in that sense, like if we needed to, but it wouldn't be. Like you know we'd still sleep in the same bed and you know, but we didn't. It was. It was toxic in that sense because we would both be holding a grudge, whereas now we can let things go we can talk about it and we can move through it. I love how you guys have grown together massively with your relationship.
Speaker 1:It's so cool, like he's obviously wanted to work and want to be together yeah these have just both kind of come to the agreement. Well, like you know, this needs to change. Yeah, I need to change this about myself, I need to change this about myself, and then we come together because, right, if there's something toxic going on, there's something amiss, like yeah, you know what I mean, yeah there's something going on.
Speaker 1:How do you feel like about? Like, because one of the big things for me was like it's weird, because I feel like your intuition plays a massive, massive part, like whenever I've been in relationships in the past and you know how you have that gut feeling that something's off, like you'll never check their phone, but then you just have like a gut feeling to check their phone. Like they're in the shower and you just randomly have this feeling that you need to go through their phone. So you go through their phone. You find all this shit right.
Speaker 1:I like when I think about like all of that because people bring their past trauma or relationships into new ones, right, and like it's been really like cool being with aj, because he has not I haven't had that, like any of those feelings, because it's so he shows up in such a genuine way. It's really cool. Like I don't bring any of those thoughts. Like I always say to my mom, like I'm like it's so weird because like he doesn't have to reassure me, because he shows me through all of his actions, like yeah, and we communicate so well. Like that's a massive thing for me because, like in the past, because I had so many toxic relationships and stuff.
Speaker 1:I was always getting those feelings of like something's off, something's in me it's like I need to go through their phone, or like even the way that I caught that guy out last time, how I caught him out cheating on me, that was wild. I didn't realize I was like such a good detective, like fuck. But when you've been cheated on that many times, you fucking know how to find shit, which is sad. Yeah, but like you know, you're not going to get away with anything. Yeah, but yeah, it's been really refreshing for me because I've never had any of those feelings with him and I'm'm like, oh, like this is actually how it's meant to be, like you don't realise, like you know, like it's not meant to be.
Speaker 1:No, and like in saying that You're not meant to feel anxious and like all that sort of stuff. They're meant to bring like a peace to you, like it's meant to be, like peaceful.
Speaker 2:I think, like with like mine and Logan's relationship, he was always like I've never had that worry. He doesn't have Instagram, he doesn't have Snapchat, he doesn't give a fuck about social media Like Facebook, but that's what you guys probably had.
Speaker 1:He was a bit like why do you have to be doing this? He?
Speaker 2:was so anxious, like if I was like posting a photo that you know he would see all these like love, heart emoji reactions from guys, and like he would address that Like why the fuck?
Speaker 1:Which is understandable, yeah.
Speaker 2:And that's, but that's also like, like I wasn't like I wasn't honoring him and going like I wasn't showing him back. Then I was thinking like you're a fucking insecure cunt. Yeah, like, pull your head in you weren't I'm in a relationship with?
Speaker 1:yeah, I wasn't, and so but. If it was the other way around, you'd probably be like what the fuck?
Speaker 2:yeah, exactly, and he used to always say that, and I used to see it from a selfish standpoint, like this is my business, this is what I do. This is, if you like, love it or leave it, basically. But now I look at it as like I like, even if he is feeling down, like I always compliment him like he's you know, you're looking really good today, or like I'll kiss him and hug him, and you know what I mean like even negative into a positive yeah, and I think, like for me, because I've never had issue, I've never been cheated on.
Speaker 2:I've never had them no or not, that I don't fucking know. No, I have hand on my heart. I've never been cheated on, like, unless you've done the cheating. No, oh, good girl. I've never cheated on anyone and never will well logan and I were together for such a fucking long period of time.
Speaker 1:So and like the guys that I was with beforehand, like I've had a guy leave me and then, not long after, like yeah, I think I've told you about that um well, let us know if you've ever cheated, but I don't know yeah, like I don't know if they've been cheated, if I've been shot.
Speaker 2:I haven't seen anything. So I've never, like had that identity or the belief system that, like you know, men are cheaters or anything like that, because it's never actually happened to me. So you know, if I had proof there, I'd probably be different, because I'd be like you know, yeah and yeah.
Speaker 2:So I think, yeah, coming back to like with where you and AJ are at, like he's showing you all the actions, like you at a really peaceful spot, whereas like yeah, looking back in how I was around somebody that was quite anxious in the relationship, I was being very avoidant in them, situations like pull your head in, yeah, whereas like, like you know, you guys have kind of grown together, whereas I've like gone through these experiences in my life and grown from them individually.
Speaker 1:And like he's a bit the same I'm obviously not going to tell his story, that's his story to tell, but like he's passed and like you know, whatever, like he's obviously been through traumatic things as well. So like we kind of come together, share our stories and it's almost like we kind of both have spoken about how we had to go through all of that shit to like find each other and just be so grateful and like it's just made like us both realize what we want in a relationship and how a relationship should be, and like all that sort of stuff.
Speaker 1:Like his parents are still together too. So I like we are the ideal couple you know what I mean. Like he, his parents, are still together, they still love each other so much, and like he's got a really tight family unit. Like I do, and like I think that was something that I would also struggle with as well, because, like I would in a past relationships, I would feel sorry for the person because, like their family might have been shit and like.
Speaker 2:So that meant that that gave them an excuse for being a shit guy me and logan like I honestly as bad as this sounds like so both our mums are alcoholics, yeah, and our support system on the coast are our mums. And I'm like I said to logan, I'm like because he doesn't talk to his father, but we're like with my dad, like he's rekindled the relationship with my dad, like that whole side of the family. They're so excited for me and I said to him like this child is going to be so fucking spoiled and loved. But I also like we're fine with them, like with the grandmas. But it's also like I wouldn't trust my mom or his mom to look after them?
Speaker 1:no, I really wouldn't, and he doesn't either.
Speaker 2:So like, for us it's kind of like it's, we're in it, like it's the exact same picture, like, and it's sad. As sad as it is, it's reality and let's both get it too probably. Exactly so. It's funny how you said you and AJ are the perfect couple.
Speaker 1:Because in your situation, you guys are the perfect couple.
Speaker 2:We literally just spoke Logan and I were speaking about it the other day, Like, as I said, it's fine and like they're not horrible people. It's just like you know they prefer the piss.
Speaker 2:Yeah, 100% Like yeah, and that's reality at the end of the day, but, um, actually, like was talking to him about something that like, in relationships also being able to show up as your authentic self, um, and I think that's such a powerful thing because I've never actually felt so comfortable. Obviously, like we've been in each other's lives for such a long period of time, but he knew me from the very like, the beginning of like before I was who I am today, like he has seen my growth, he's seen my ups, he's seen my downs and he's seen it all. Has seen my growth. He's seen my ups, he's seen my downs and he's seen it. He's seen it all. And for some people they would have known that I had dated somebody, you know, while Logan and I had broken up and he we won't say the name he fucking still looks at my stories if he's listening to this podcast fuck you no, there's no hate there, um, but like I one thing, that like.
Speaker 2:So when logan and I broke up, he said to me and it fucking like it always just stayed in the back of my head he was like jess, I'm the one like that is gonna fucking love you at the end of the day, like I love you that much. Like if you didn't have the fake tits, if you didn't have he loves you for who you are.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and he's like if you got cancer, if you had, you know, if something happened to you in a wheelchair, I would still fucking love you, I would be the one looking after you. And he, just like that, fucking killed me. Because that was like a day or two that I actually left and I was thinking like trying not to let it get to my head or anything. Anyway, fast forward to when I started dating this guy. I was like flicking through these old photos of me when I first started competing, when I was quite young and I would have been 18 or something, and I showed him a photo and like it was when I when I was like 17, 18. And mind you like, obviously I've had lip injections. Yes, I've had my teeth done, like I haven't had a lot of work.
Speaker 2:You were a child and exactly, I was a fucking child and he goes, he looks at it and he's like yuck, you look like an ice junkie and that fucking like it cut fucking deep. And I said to him I was like fuck you. And I ended up you know what.
Speaker 1:Even probably like knowing the place in your life that you were at that time, like if someone said that about me when I had my eating disorder. That would be like I'd be so triggered.
Speaker 2:And I think it triggered me so much because, like I've always dealt with like not feeling worthy, not feeling enough not feeling worthy, not feeling enough, not feeling um, like I was a.
Speaker 2:That's always exactly and I always felt like the black sheep of not only with my family but also, I guess, in the fitness, just everything that I did, like I always felt like I didn't belong in a way, um. So here I am starting to do things like you know. Now I look at it completely differently. Like, and I only got. I literally waited to get my boobs done to when I could, like look at myself in the mirror and say I fucking love you, jess. Like I waited for that because I was going to get them when I was 18?
Speaker 1:yeah, and I want to get them and make it a thing that's supposed to make you feel better yes, and it was like.
Speaker 2:It was like you need them masking me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, need them to, like you know, make yourself feel worthy of something.
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah. So I think, like, with that being said, it kind of made me realize that, like you know, if I didn't, if I didn't look the way I did now, then like, and I wasn't, you know, I didn't have the tattoos, and like, not everyone fucking loves tattoos, not everyone finds that sexy, but like I know he did, because he had his exes like, and they were, all you know, tatted.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you look at the exes and you're like well, they've definitely got a type, but it's just like, and then like that was the biggest like, like, I guess just a wake up call for me.
Speaker 1:It's for me, yeah, moment, hey, where you just literally like you and like that it's superficial thing that that logan probably said popped into your mind at that very moment when he said that and you're like what the fuck? Yeah, you know, and like it's funny what you say about showing up as your authentic self. Because, like with aj, I am. So my fucking.
Speaker 1:I have never been this comfortable like even like my ex who I was with within a couple of years. I lived with him. I had, I was not, I did not feel comfortable, fully comfortable to be my authentic self around him. Obviously it was an abusive relationship. So I was very like closed off and all that sort of stuff with aj, like he literally just loves me for the fucking person that I am like I just like you know what I'm like. I say fucking dumb shit all the time. I'll just like have a one-liner that I'll just pull out of nowhere and he'll just like laugh at me and be like you are so fucking funny and you know when you're like can you fart around him?
Speaker 2:yet no fucking way. I was like that is like gonna be the actual no.
Speaker 1:No, I said to him, I will never fart around. There's like things that I just don't think you should do. Like I don't know, maybe one day, but like when you're, when you're pregnant.
Speaker 2:I can tell you right now you will fart. You've been with Logan for 10 years, all right, but there's one thing I never do Fart in front of my partner or shit in front of them.
Speaker 1:I don't understand how people can shit do a shit If I'm in the shower. Do not come into the bathroom and do a shit while I'm trying to get clean and all I can smell is you poo particles flying around in the air. That's something that, like, I mean, we're not there yet, maybe we'll get there, not the shitting part.
Speaker 2:Not the shitting. Well, I will say this as well when you are pregnant and you have your baby, you will shit yourself. Not everyone does. But so oh, wait At the fucking hospital.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, you're pushing, it's pressure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, but I didn't actually know that.
Speaker 1:You. Let's not talk about that. Oh, like I would like. Yeah, I don't know, like I've spoken to you about this on the podcast before, I'm like babies are probably not for me, things can change, but like it's just you know what, for me it's just the giving, like the being pregnant and giving birth whole thing. It fucking freaks me out like that's the only reason why I wouldn't have kids.
Speaker 1:Love kids, but like the thought of like children, having pushing one out or even being told that I have to have my gut sliced and have a baby pulled out of me like a cesarean.
Speaker 2:That freaks me.
Speaker 1:I'm not even thinking about that, to be honest okay, good, like I was talking to alicia, the other day and she's like she had her two children natural.
Speaker 2:So she actually didn't have a birth plan or anything like that. And, um, I was like, wait, you didn't have a birth plan or anything like that.
Speaker 1:And I was like wait, you didn't have a birth plan. It's probably the best way to do it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's like she went in and that's what Taylor and Nick did. Yeah, they said they're like. Said the same thing as me Like you don't have a birth plan.
Speaker 1:Like get the baby out, yeah.
Speaker 2:Alicia's like no plan is a plan.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So just do whatever you're going to do, as long as I'm safe and the baby's safe. Yeah, and I was like that is fucking powerful because yeah.
Speaker 1:Because then you're going to go into it having an expectation. I don't know, I reckon I'll have to be like that. For me some things like ignorance is bliss. So I think if I just go into it, yeah, I don't have time to freaking, freak out, um, but yeah, anyway, I've been sidetracked there we always do that, um, but yeah, no, like showing up as my authentic self, like he just loves me for exactly who I am.
Speaker 1:That's what I was gonna say before. You know, when you're like you're by yourself and you catch yourself doing weird shit, like you'll just be doing something weird, like I don't know, and you just think to yourself, fuck, I'm a weird cunt, yeah, I am that person around him and he's the same around me. Like we're just fucking the weirdest cunts together and I love it. Like I have never felt this comfortable in front of someone. And like he like going back to, like complimenting your partner, like I always tell him how good he looks and how good he smells because he smells so good. But like I go back to all of that sort of stuff and like like he'll tell me, like he'll be like you are just such a beautiful woman.
Speaker 1:That's what he loves to hear. He'll like look at me and he'll be like check you out. This is what he does. He'll look me up and down and go check you out and I'm like what? And he's like you are just such a fucking beautiful woman did you know that? And I'm just like, and I'll be like a slob I'll have like trackies on. I'll have these random novelty socks on me, crocs, a fucking oversized hoodie in my hair, up on a bonnet hair sticking out like this no makeup on.
Speaker 1:I love that and I'm just like fuck, I love you like you are just like and that's the thing he loves me for me and, like you know, obviously he thinks that I'm attractive and all that sort of stuff. But like, the shit that really matters is like he loves me for me, like when he tells me, like when he like compliments me as well, it's not just on my looks, it's like I love the way that you are with your family. Like I love when I see I watch you with like your sister's stepkids. I love when, like he sees me for me and it's like, you know, that's what I love about him. Like he sees me interacting with people and that's what he loves. Like he sees me how I treat him and that's what he loves.
Speaker 1:Like it's all that shit that actually means the most at the end of the day, that he'll like tell me that he loves about me and like I've never had that before, I've never had like anyone sit there and tell me the reasons why they love me. Yeah, like in that sort of a on, in that sort of context, if that makes sense, it's always like, it's always superficial shit, like you know, or they take you for granted, like I've been in that many relationships where, like you know, obviously I do well for myself. I have a business. I've been in relationships yours was the same with old, that old fucking mate, and they just expect you to fucking like live off you like a leech. They add zero fucking value. They bring you down and it's like cunt.
Speaker 2:Get the fuck out of my way yeah, when he wanted me to pay for his supplements, I was like what, buy your own supplements.
Speaker 1:Why are you fucking shit? Yeah, like that's the thing. Like aj loves to pay for everything, right, and I love that about him. But sometimes, like babe, you have like just let me fucking pay for one thing. And then he's like I was like can I pay for dinner tonight? He's like, yes, only if I can take you out for dinner this week. I'm like, well, we know that's gonna happen, because it happens like five times a week. You know what I mean? It's just like like I love him to pieces, but it's like let me also take care of you, but he doesn't want it because it's like the masculine, right, yeah, but I like to be fair in things.
Speaker 2:But it's nice you know what.
Speaker 1:It's actually really nice to be taken out of my masculine and have like such a softer energy around me, like my sister's massive into. She's super spiritual, she's very intuitive and she actually does reiki. If anyone's interested, hit her up spirit of sage on instagram. But anyway, she is so like. She literally met him one time and tegan didn't even she got married right, didn't invite half her fucking family to the wedding, leaves, messages me and goes. I think aj is the nicest fucking guy and like if you want to, you can bring him to the wedding. And I was like that is huge. I was like she does not like a single person. And she said to me she's like you two have very different energies but like you, you guys work and it's because like he's, I'm very like, I'm a big energy and he's much of a softer energy. He just brings me like down a little bit and I kind of bring him out.
Speaker 2:You know what I?
Speaker 1:mean so, like it's just really nice, like he softens me and like, yeah, I just love how he brings out like all the good things in me. Like we've never had an argument, I've never been hot-headed, and like, you know, he's just like he's the best. Yeah, he's the best. I'm literally like so in love with this person. He better not leave me, because that would be really embarrassing if we did this podcast and he was just like I'm out. No, he won't.
Speaker 2:Hopefully not Give it to Lease at the end of the year. Aj, oh yeah right, no he won't leave me.
Speaker 1:I promise you watch when 50 is still like doing this shit Absolutely yeah.
Speaker 2:Definitely. And, as you said, when you know, you know and anything in life can happen. That's what my dad actually said to me when I broke the news about you know, having a child, and he's like obviously you and Logan can't predict the future.
Speaker 1:And he's like he's talking about cause.
Speaker 2:I said to him I was like, I feel like with the I always had that perfect mind and picture of like you know having the house and then the marriage, and then you know having a child and but in saying that too, that's because that's what society puts on us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly exactly.
Speaker 2:But my dad, like what my dad and I I feel like it was so powerful to hear it from him because I respect and love him so much that you know anything in life can happen. So you know, just because you are married with somebody doesn't mean you're going to stay with them for the rest of your life, like anything can happen, jess. And that just hit me hard because I like it wasn't long after that I went on Facebook and I seen somebody that they literally were my couple goals and they were together since I started at Anytime Fitness Wyoming and that was like when I it would have been like 17, 18, like so 10 years ago, and they were married before that. They were just fucking like perfect perfect, just amazing.
Speaker 1:That just goes to show that everything on instagram, instagram, instagram, but even like when you used to see them like they in the gym and like they had their little family.
Speaker 2:They were just like I used to love that, like I still talk to her here and there, but like, yeah, when I went online and I seen that they had split. It was just like how yeah like it, like what happened, yeah, so like or was it really?
Speaker 1:that perfect in the first place. You know what I mean. Yeah, that's a massive thing as well, like perception of things yeah, or things like you've got to keep things alive like it's like a plant.
Speaker 2:You can't just fucking think that's the biggest relationship.
Speaker 1:Well, it's fucking it like the grass isn't greener on the other side, it's green where you fucking water it that's literally my biggest learning.
Speaker 2:That is my biggest learning and you know what.
Speaker 1:It's funny coming back to that because, like I feel like people in relationships these days it's so easy to fucking jump ship, like we've got all these dating apps. It's so easy to fucking add someone on Snapchat and fucking be a little dirty dog there, but it's so easy to there's options. Right, it makes options seem unlimited, yeah, but when you come back down to like what actually truly fucking matters like I've had to go through a lot of kiss, a lot of frogs to get to this one, you know what I mean Like it's really not, there's plenty of fish in the sea, but like this is my fish Just out, the fuck away, kind of thing.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like yeah there's plenty of fish in the sea, but some of them fucking piranhas, like, I think, finding someone who gets you being your authentic self and like you know what. Showing up as your authentic self and not trying to change who you are to get someone to like you even that's how many times have people like I've done that in the fucking past.
Speaker 1:I know people who have done that before like you're not going to like. Genuine connections are built on authenticity. They're not built on being fake. So if you're showing up as this fucking I don't know person, same as like people who get out of relationships and then they go all like I'm gonna say the word.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna say the word slutty, like they start posting, like photos of themselves half naked and it's like and that wasn't them before, it's not who you are why are you changing yourself?
Speaker 1:why are you trying to attract this fucking attention, Like you know? Like stop changing yourself just to get attention. Like keep showing up as you, He'll show up as you and you'll have, because at the end of the day, you may be sad and lonely, but you're only going to end up fucking more sad and lonely because you're going to be used by these people who are like that's a bit wrong impression of you, yeah, and I feel like that's a skewed perception on what confidence really is because
Speaker 1:you're doing it for the clout and it's doing it from again like it's coming from a place of like loneliness and like wanting attention, but from the wrong, wrong places. Yeah. So, yeah, show up as your fucking self and like, yeah, genuine connections will happen, even in like relate, um relationships in um friendships. Like true friendships are built on like me and care right. We always talk about how, like our friendship, a lot of friendships are built on going out right me and care's. Friendship is built on so much more than that, like being authentic people and showing up. I don't know, it's just, it's cool, like you just build such strong relationships with people by being authentic and just being yourself.
Speaker 2:Yeah, being yourself like it's cool yeah, and I feel like that's like energy people feel like if you can't just be yourself and you're not like you can't be vulnerable or be relatable or, you know, resonate with other people like you don't want to fucking hang out with them again and like I just think about, like I was talking to my friend taylor yesterday, like I said something that made her a little bit upset.
Speaker 1:It was an inside joke that we've always had for the as long as that I've known her, but now that she's a new mom and she's a little bit more feeling a little bit more vulnerable, like it upsets her now, which I totally understand. Things change and whatever. So obviously, like you know, we could. We had just had a conversation about it and like that was it. But I was thinking to myself like when I kind of like finished the conversation with her, I thought to myself, like I have so many like genuine girlfriends who I classify as my best friends and like it's so cool because like I remember going to a psychic once and she was like you have like so many best girlfriends.
Speaker 1:Like so many people in life, are so like lucky to just have one and I was literally like I've thought about it and I was like it's because, like I, they're genuine fucking friendships. Like we pull each other up on our shit and like it's never like an argument, I don't know. We just like we're there for each other, like we see each other for who we are and like it's just fucking cool, like we don't take each other for granted.
Speaker 2:All that sort of stuff, and I feel like 100%.
Speaker 1:We don't take each other for granted. We show up and, like, the energy is reciprocated. So, like, whereas, like you know, if someone does something for me, I'm making sure that I do, like you know, without it being like I have to do this, it Like I have to do this. It's a want, because you show up for me and I show up for you. It's like you know, I want to show up for you. I'm someone who very much so like I love to do things for you, but then the second that you expect it from me, you can get fucked. I'm not doing it, and that's what I hate. There's no genuineism. There Is that a word I don't know?
Speaker 1:There's nothing genuine about that it's literally people just wanting to use you to gain something and like, coming back to aj, I've never had that like in a relationship before because, like taylor said at the end of her message, like I'm just so happy that you're with aj, like you're so happy and I can't wait to meet him, blah, blah, blah. And that's when I had that thought, that thought process started to happen, because I was like I have all these genuine friends and I was like now I found this person who's just like the same on that level, but like in a relationship, like in a relationship like I've never had, that it's just really cool.
Speaker 1:Like, yeah, you know, it's cool yeah yeah, never settle ladies for the third time on this podcast today seriously, though never settle, because I've always told myself I'm not gonna fucking settle for this behavior and I'll never stick by someone who treats me like fucking shit and if I say something, I'm three strikes and you're out. If I have to repeat the same thing to you more than three fucking times and you can get fucked like it's not cool. I'm happy to change like things that I do and work on toxic sides of myself. You need to be willing to do that too and, like you know, as you said before, we're not all perfect. But, like with these other things, it's like nuts three strikes, you're out.
Speaker 1:I'm not literally going to spend my fucking time with a person who just drains my fucking energy and like aj refuels that, like he literally gives me energy, you know, and that's what we were talking about like I can't wait to see him today because I'm just feeling a little bit flat, he's feeling a little bit off, and then we just know, like as soon as we see each other, we just feel instantly so much better, whereas usually, when you're feeling like this, you see people and you're like, oh, now I feel worse yeah, you know, it definitely has to compliment you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you just recharge each other's energies and it's just like we listen to each other and we like ask questions. And am I boring you?
Speaker 2:no, these have it's fucking hard.
Speaker 1:I know your body's working on keeping two people alive. I get it. No, it's just funny.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, that's why I did that before, because I'm like I don't want anyone to see me Anyone.
Speaker 1:Me. She's just like out of frame With the cameras.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, definitely, you know what I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I think this has been a cool episode to touch on because I feel like in the past we've spoken about toxic relationships and all that sort of stuff, but I think it's really cool for people to listen to this sort of stuff. Don't put up with shit. Be open to constructive criticism and having conversations instead of arguments. You can argue, but not like make it.
Speaker 1:make it a conversation yeah make it like a heated thing, that like needs to be a fight, like, look at things like this is the situation. How are we going to attack this together?
Speaker 2:yeah, and stay true to yourself too, because I feel like when you are following what you truly want, like that's when the people that are meant to be in your life or, you know, even just with relationships, like they will be, it's like you're not gonna settle. Yeah, for shit like you're gonna you know that that's meant for you and you're gonna attract all this genuine shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know, like I like back to europe, I love to talk about it but like even europe, like I just had when I was over there.
Speaker 1:I, the people that I met, were such genuine human beings and I'm still friends with them to this day and I will be like one of them roscoe I know you listen, dulls all the way from scotland. He's one of like my besties and we speak all the time and it's just like such genuine connections and it's like I've just attracted. When I was on holidays I was attracting all these genuine people and like people who were seeing me for who I was. Yeah, which gave me the confidence to be like fuck, like I am such a fucking good person, like all these people don't fucking know me. They've only just met me over like a short amount of time and they can see me for who I am and see all these great qualities in me.
Speaker 1:So then my mindset shifted. The whole time I was over there, you know like, and then like I come back and then I've got this human here. That's like I just started to attract.
Speaker 1:I felt like I started to attract all these like positive, good people into my life, genuine people into my life, once I started to believe like I'm a great person, I don't need to deal with these assholes like I was talking to a guy too when I was over there and I fucking chucked him in the fucking because he just started treating me like shit like he, like we'd hung out like one time briefly, but he just started treating me like like shit and I'm like I'm not going to fucking, like I'm on the other side of the world.
Speaker 2:Give me a like fuck off, it takes six weeks to manifest. Oh, okay, so yeah, that's.
Speaker 1:What do you mean? I have to start manifesting every single night.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was take six weeks. So I do with my. She's got like a she talks she's got like somebody that does like nlp energetics, all this stuff and she always talks about, like, if you're trying to manifest things or you're trying to realign yourself to something or you, whatever you want. Like if you, yes, start manifesting and then actioning, it's generally will take six weeks for it to come in. Like you're coming to, like fruition and like yeah what so? You like, like you're not all right, you're the circle around you, whatever.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know yeah, yeah, yeah, so you might not like call it yeah, so you might not have it then and there, but it's like it's there and it's so don't just because it's six weeks up and you're like, oh, don't have a meal, I'm gonna stop it. You know like, keep, keep working, keep thinking and you will slowly get there obviously a million dollars.
Speaker 1:That's actually what this is so off track. But that's one thing I've actually started trying to bring myself back into after coming back from europe is just like the manifesting stop talking, having negative talks. Like you know, I'm really busy at the moment, I'm really struggling to fit everything in but like see it as a good thing, like change my mindset and just be like okay, these are good things, like this is all going to be and it's only temporary, right, I only have to work this hard now and then everything will kind of back off it's just like you know those sorts of things like temporary, what is it?
Speaker 1:temporary pain for sacrifice for long-term gain. Temporary sacrifice for long-term gain.
Speaker 2:Isn't that the same? I don't know temporary.
Speaker 1:No, it's short-term pain for long-term game.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, it's still along the same lines. It's not a little bit smarter just didn't rhyme. Temporary. Temporary pain. Pain is what you said.
Speaker 1:I said temporary sacrifice. We're not really good with the old quotes, are we no? We're really not but whatever, we'll make up our own because they work. That's all right, okay, yeah, well, thanks for listening guys. We went on a little bit tangent there, as per usual, but I feel like that was a good one. Yeah, I thought it was a good one. It was nice to talk about I don't know something from a different perspective that we've recently gained. I think that was cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and, as always, if you have any feedback, we do love it and make sure you follow us on.
Speaker 1:Instagram sharpuncut.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And also follow us on our personal pages, because you know. And share and follow my business page too. Actually, and mine Emphasize here Primal Performance. Just follow us all, please.
Speaker 2:But if anything resonates with you, please share, like if we put up a video on the gram, or like even a just a podcast yeah, we'd love like screenshot it, share it, because the more we get this out, the more it motivates us to do it as well it does.
Speaker 1:It really does all right. Thanks for listening guys. Thank y'all.